Alex Jiang (
silkensupra) wrote2022-08-11 11:20 pm
open rp post;

+ Open post for Alex Jiang, puppy of the dream pack
+ M/M for romance and smut and such hijinks
+ Ship him with basically any trc boy tbqh
+ Kavinsky and Skov and Ronan are favorites, though
+ Headcanons TBA
+ safeaslife#0150 for questions or plotting

:3
[It was a Friday afternoon after classes had ended for the day at Aglionby and Kavinsky was, among other things, bored and lonely. He was already planning things out if Jiang said he wasn't busy. He could order take-out; pizza or burgers or something. They could watch a movie in the basement. Maybe he could even convince Jiang to spend the night.
Kavinsky's mother was out of town for the weekend so there was more or less a zero chance she could kill the mood. Opportunities didn't get more perfect than this.]
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why you got a suggestion?
[He knew that he did, of course.
But usually that meant a party or at least the rest of the pack, and Skov would have buzzing about movie night or whatever they were calling their excuse to hangout that week. But Skov had been complaining about how bored he was going to be, and there hadn't been the usual planning of drinks and everything else. So this seems- different, but Jiang tries not to read into it. He wants to, of course, but he tries to resist the urge even if his heart skips.
But he's always been easy for K.
He's been attracted to Kavinsky before they officially met. First as a boy that he ached to sketch, then just that car. But Kavinsky as a person was better than either. He believed in him. That the person he was meant something, was worth something. That he could have his dreams instead of the life that had seemed scripted.
And so while he's not officially enrolled in any art classes- nothing that goes on a list his parents would see- he's been building up his portfolio, sketches and photographs, sometimes paints and charcoals. It feels like stealing something in a way that makes him almost giddy.
And he never would have dared this thing he's doing before; secretly talking to art programs that had been nothing but heart-deep secrets before Kavinsky. So he'd follow him pretty much anywhere.
It wasn't as obvious as with the others because Jiang wasn't as much of a fighter, wasn't bruised knuckles and split lips that declared their devotion in every drop of blood. But his loyalty still ran to the heart.]
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i could order a pizza if you're in the mood
around 7?
[Kavinsky usually organized pack hangouts, nights for all of his boys to get together. Sometimes, he doled out individual attention, times for one-on-one evenings. Sometimes, not often, because he thrived with all of his boys around. He thrived watching them thrive, knowing he'd given them the space and courage and chance to be themselves.
He was a king and his boys were his princes. If he was a dragon, they were his hoard. If he was a deity, they were his devotees. He could make comparisons until he was breathless but they all boiled down to one thing; they needed each other. He needed them. And yet he was still lonely. It was loneliness born from being different, not one of a kind but rare. Rare enough that sometimes he felt like a caged animal and flinging himself at the bars only got him so far.
He wished he could be honest with all of them. He wished he could tell all of his boys what he was, what he could do. Would they understand? Would they think he was a freak? He would be lost without them. Sometimes, he daydreamed that he told them and they accepted him and became closer as they all kept his secret. The most important part was this; he wished he could tell Jiang. He was sweet. Sweeter than Skov, who could be pretty damn soft when he wanted to be.
Jiang was...- sometimes, Kavinsky worried that putting his hands on him would taint him somehow. That getting what he wanted would mean ruining the other boy. It wasn't that Kavinsky didn't enjoy corrupting others to a certain extent, but this was a different worry. Not corrupted but ruined. Sullied in ways he couldn't put into words. It wasn't particularly often that Kavinsky thought of himself as a terrible force capable of destroying everything he touched but...the thought was still there.
It didn't stop him from being hopeful, though.]
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I'll meet you at your place?
oh and if I brought my camera
could I maybe get some pics of you?
if you don't mind.
[Jiang was actually a little bit nervous about asking. It was.. different, somehow. Sure, he'd taken candids before, snapped photos on his phone. He almost always took pictures at Kavinsky's parties, or when people were hanging around before the races. But this was.. it was intentional. It would just be Kavinsky and Jiang and his camera. No way to hide the way that he looked at him, the way that he wanted him.
He liked photography because as much as it was about art, there was always truth to it. But it was that element that made taking pictures of Kavinsky a little bit nerve-wracking. Especially if he was going to show him how they came out at the end. Because that was intention and want printed out on photo paper. It was choosing what parts mattered, what you focused on.
He wasn't sure if he could take pictures of Kavinsky that didn't look like desire.
Like love.
But there were quotes he'd read about that: things like only photograph what you love and how photography was all about secrets: the secrets we all have and never tell. There was one he couldn't quite remember, but something about how photographs made things more real than reality. And maybe, if Kavinsky thought the boy he was- the one his father would never understand- deserved to have his own dreams, he could offer him this in return.
Love and secrets and something real; these things that he felt for him. Taking pictures for what he couldn't say in words.]
no subject
and sure
i don't mind
[He wasn't shy; he didn't mind getting his picture taken. He also fully supported Jiang's passion and hobbies. He supported whatever the other boy wanted to do with his life that made him happy. That was the most important thing in the world when it came to figuring out what you wanted to do for work or even just a hobby. Sometimes, Kavinsky wished he had healthy hobbies, himself.
For a moment, he thought of teasing Jiang, of throwing in something like 'nude photos?' or something else equally playful, but instead, he let the opportunity pass him by. He should have gotten a medal for his restraint, though really it was because Jiang had never asked him properly like this, one on one. It made Kavinsky feel...warm. Something akin to flattered.]
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I'll see you later then
[Jiang absolutely wanted nudes, but he probably would have flushed a little over it. And even if Kavinsky wouldn't see it, Jiang was typically an easy read about things like that. Or maybe K just paid enough attention to be able to tell, and Jiang didn't really bother trying to hide things from the other boy. Just one secret, and more because it was frightening than anything. Because he didn't have the words to say it in. His desires were intense, things he felt with the beat of his heart, but saying it felt all but impossible, no matter how much he burned.
It meant so much to him how much Kavinsky supported him and believed in him. All of the boys were encouraging, but it was different with him. A sort of nuanced attentiveness that made Jiang all but glow, sometimes.
He shows up just a few minutes before seven, and he's not exactly overdressed
not like it was a datebut his jeans are a little tighter and a little bit lower on his hips (and they made his ass look great, according to Skov's commentary a few weeks back). His top brushes just above the hem of his pants, not quite showing skin- unless he were to bend or shift or do anything other than breathe, and the vertical mesh stripes across the back are a touch of something enticing, even if they're covered by his jacket for the moment. He has a few more earrings and rings than he usually wears to a night out, but has his camera bag slung over one shoulder.Okay, so... maybe he had decided to lean a bit towards date-vibes. You know, just in case.
Because if his king did mean it, he wanted to make sure that he seemed interested. Honestly if Kavinsky meant it, Jiang would paint a sign in jagged letters that matched the knife on the Mitsubishi saying please. But he was trying to not seem desperate or like he was assuming more than Kavinsky had offered; ie, he did not bring flowers. So this was just hanging out and pizza and some pictures.
Not a big deal.
Right.
He took a breath, running a hand through his hair, the sides freshly shaved after his shower. And then he knocked on the door.]
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Kavinsky was absolutely not hovering around the door waiting for Jiang when he heard him knock. Nope. Totally. Except he was there pretty quick, barefoot but wearing a pair of dark, slim, expensive, distressed jeans ripped at both knees, and a sleeveless t-shirt that would have showed off his muscles...if he'd had any. It wasn't a bad look though, either way.
He took a moment to look Jiang up and down after opening the door, casual and yet intense at the same time. Jiang looked good but then again, Kavinsky was of the opinion that he always looked good. Sometimes, he wondered what the other boy looked like in the morning, hair messy from sleep. He'd bet he was just as attractive.
After a split-second too long, his gaze snapped back up to Jiang's face and he grinned.]
Hey, man. It's good to see you.
[He stepped to the side, opening the door wider and gesturing Jiang inside.]
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He wanted to kiss him, but honestly that was a constant thought. Jiang wanted Kavinsky's hands on him, he wanted the other boy to ruin him in all of the best ways possible. He wanted all of the things that he'd only dreamed about, wanted Kavinsky to show him all of the things that people whispered about in stories and rumors. Jiang just-- he tried not to be obvious. All the boys in the pack were gorgeous, but Kavinsky was the one he couldn't get out of his head.]
Hey, thanks. You look good- glad I brought my camera.
[It's a little bit teasing, and he smiles, bright and pleased as he follows the other boy into Kavinsky's suburban mansion. It's far from the first time he's been to the other boy's place, so he toes off doc martens, and drops his camera bag on the end of the couch. Joined a moment later by his jacket, which reveals that his shirt is a bit more suggestive than at first glance- skin that shows through the panels of black mesh.
It's definitely still Jiang's style- somewhere between emo punk and goth- but this is literally the first time he's actively tried to look sexy, like something made to be desired. He tries to not make a big deal about it, even if part of him almost wants to ask K what he thinks, but he buries the urge. Instead he just hooks his thumbs into the pockets of his jeans and trails over to Kavinsky.
Like it's magnetic.]
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I always look good.
[Which was a lie. There were plenty of times when he looked like shit and felt like shit. But it was a bit flirtatious, an easy confidence that he'd perfected long ago.
He tried not to be obvious as he watched Jiang take his jacket off, and he resisted the urge to reach out and touch the other boy, comb his fingers through his hair or something. He had to shove his hands in his pockets to keep them from twitching in Jiang's direction. He'd already set up a folding table in the basement and had some beer chilling in a cooler for them. It wasn't extraordinarily fancy but it was still more than he usually did for hanging out.]
You still like the usual on your pizza?
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He likes the way that he wears that easy confidence, and it's certainly better than the alternative.
Once he has his jacket off, he feels almost exposed. But it's more of a good thing than anything; just the two of them, with only Kavinsky here and looking at him. And god, he wanted him looking at him.]
Yeah; pepperoni pizza is a gift.
[He follows after him, sort of like a puppy, Or maybe it's just more obvious when they're alone, and there's no one else to pull the attention from him, to distract from how he watches Kavinsky. Jiang is bright, but the other boys are louder. Sometimes he gets lost in the noise, but he doesn't mind. The people he needs to see him are the ones around him, and they all do. But take away everything else, and he's far more obvious than he's used to.]
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Good. 'Cause that's what I ordered.
[He slung an arm around Jiang's shoulders as he guided him towards the kitchen, where the pizza was still boxed and sitting in the oven to keep warm. Reluctantly stepping away from Jiang when they were in the kitchen, Kavinsky pulled the pizza box out and headed for the basement stairs.]
I got everything set up downstairs.
[He didn't have any candles, but the lightning downstairs was still moody, set to low instead of bright. Combined with the table and cooler of beer...it was decidedly more date-like than he'd originally let on.]
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He debated again between saying something and just enjoying the evening, but Jiang wasn't really the sort to stay quiet. But he gets two beers out of the cooler, twisting the caps off before handing one to Kavinsky, and then taking a sip of his own.]
This is really nice, K.
[He looks at him with intention, letting his gaze linger on the other boy and slide up to meet his dark eyes with his own. The beer was cool against his tongue as he takes another sip, moderately suggestive as his mouth wraps around the bottle for a moment.]
Is this a date? I mean- I thought about bringing you flowers, but I didn't want to assume anything. But, now I feel like maybe I should have.
[It's true, but it's also a touch of offered vulnerability. Trying to make the question easier so that there's less of that pressure, casually answering the question of whether he wants it to be a date or not. It'd be easy to say that he doesn't play his emotions quite so tight to his chest as the rest of the boys, but the truth is a bit more nuanced: he doesn't hide his emotions with them. He trusts Kavinsky and the rest of the pack. But his heart still races in his chest, looking at the other boy softly.
He knows Kavinsky wouldn't throw him out of the pack for having a crush on him of all things, but it makes him flush a little. In truth the idea of him saying yes is nerve-inducing even if Jiang aches for it. He's never really been on a date before. Certainly not with someone he was actually attracted to- the boy that he thought about most in his inappropriate thoughts.]
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He looked down, pressing his fingers against the cool glass of the beer bottle while he thought about that. Clearly, Jiang wasn't upset about the idea of this being a date or else he wouldn't have brought up 'I thought about bringing flowers'. No one had ever given Kavinsky flowers before. He wasn't sure he'd know what to do with them but he wouldn't scoff at them, either.
Looking at Jiang through his lashes, he bit his tongue, trying to work out something appropriate to say that wasn't something like 'do you want it to be a date?' or a sex joke.]
I didn't want to call it a date. In case you weren't into the idea. But yeah, I guess it is.
[He took a sip of his beer, sitting on the urge to ask if that was okay. Instead, he said-]
I'd like it if you wanted to be my boyfriend.
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I'm very into the idea of it being a date, K.
[Kavinsky might not have outright asked if it was okay, but Jiang sort of thought that he came off so fearless that few people ever considered he might need reassurance. He thought that the other boy was more complicated than that: shadows and longings in his dark eyes than Jiang didn't entirely understand, but he wanted to. Kavinsky sips on his beer and then says something that makes his eyes spark, biting at his bottom lip as he catches his breath.
Instead of replying immediately, he walks over until they're close, until he can curl his arms around him and wrap the taller boy in a tender embrace, holding onto him, trying to offer affection as much as he soaked it up himself, nuzzling in against his chest with a soft murmur- he almost felt like his chest would burst.
But he nodded as he looked up at him, taking a moment to be able to put it into words.]
Yes, of course. I- I'd more than like that. I want you so much. I have since the beginning. You made me feel like I was worth something to you. I couldn't help it.
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When Jiang approached, Kavinsky put his beer down too, sliding his arms around him. He wasn't sure he deserved being wanted, especially not by someone as gorgeous and talented and intelligent as Jiang, but Kavinsky wasn't going to deny himself the things--or people--he wanted. He just hoped neither of them ended up regretting this. He didn't want to ruin Jiang, not unless it was in a sexual way.
Sighing softly, he slid his hands up to cup Jiang's face.]
You are worth something to me. You're worth a lot. And you're incredible in every way.
[He didn't usually tell any of his boys those sort of things but he probably should. Maybe showing them wasn't enough, sometimes. They deserved to know. Jiang deserved to know.
Kavinsky hesitated for all of a moment before leaning in to kiss Jiang.]
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He couldn't imagine regretting anything about this moment. He sighed, tilting his face into the other boy's fingers encouragingly. He'd been struck by Kavinsky since the beginning- the magnet that had drawn him into his circle. Not just because he was interested in him, but he couldn't help how he felt about him, either.]
So are you, you know. You're incredible, and smarter than people give you credit for, and I want to be in your life.
[And then-- and then Kavinsky was leaning in to kiss him, and he did his best to meet him part of the way. Leaning up onto his toes, his fingers clutching into K's shirt as he leaned in against him, kissing him back, eager but sweet all at once. A little clumsy, maybe, but there was feeling behind it, his dark eyes fluttering shut while they kissed. He looked a little stunned, almost star-struck as he looked at him when they parted.
His first kiss. Not that Kavinsky knew that; they'd never talked about whether or not Jiang had kissed anyone before.]
I- can we- kiss me again?
[He's clearly affected, his face flushed by the low lights as he looks up at the other boy. He wants this all so much, wants Kavinsky more than he's ever quite known how to tell him.]
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Part of him assumed Jiang had to kiss guys all the time. Why wouldn't they be lining up for him? Jiang was gorgeous. The other part of him didn't figure Jiang for the type to sleep around, so maybe he didn't have quite as much experience as Kavinsky would think. Nowhere in his musing did he think this might have been Jiang's first kiss.
Smiling, he brushed his thumbs across Jiang's cheeks.]
I'll kiss you every day for the rest of forever if you'll let me.
[And right now, especially. Kavinsky kissed him again, still sweet, like he was trying to tell Jiang how much he meant to him with the kiss instead of using words.]
Jiang keeps a first aid kit in his car
Today had been a smashing success though. Despite the fight being two to one, he'd beat their faces in and had come out on top. The other two boys had gone running with their tails between their legs and Skov rode high on adrenaline. Except when that wore off he was going to feel every ache and pain even more clearly. As it was, he already had a little limp. His knuckles were bloody and his lip was split. His cheek was bruising fast.
Instead of his own car, it was Jiang's he made a beeline for. Mostly, he didn't want to be alone right now, and Jiang was probably hanging out near his car, so. Skov wasn't sure what they were to each other, exactly. They'd kissed before but they weren't dating? It was sort of a gray area. That said, he didn't want it to stay a gray area forever; he wanted to figure things out.
Maybe tonight would be the night, after the races died down some more. Skov hadn't been participating for a change; he'd been too busy messing around and having a good time before he'd gotten into a fight.]
Hey, man.
[He raised his voice to be heard over the music as he approached Jiang, smiling and then immediately wincing a little when his busted lip twinged.]
it's not *just* for skov but he sure is part of it :>
So it felt like.. something. This nebulous space that could be something, but that wasn't just yet.
Jiang wanted it to be more, he capital-L Liked Skov. And normally, he was sort of no-nonsense about these things, tended to say the things that the other boys would leave humming in the background. But this was different. Because he didn't want to push the other boy- he didn't want to fuck this up by asking for too much too fast. So instead he was trying to take it at his pace and hoping that Skov wanted it too. That they could get there.
So he grins, clearly pleased when he sees Skov, but then his brows knit together with an edge of concern and he holds a hand out to Skov, a soft sort of invitation. He was suddenly glad that he'd decided to put a first aid kit in the trunk of his car. It had occurred to him one night that it would just take one bad fight, one mistake for something bad to happen. He's glad that this looks to just be cuts and bruises, the sort of thing that Skov seems to enjoy more than anything.]
Hey-- c'mere? Will you let me check you out while you tell me what I missed?
[It's companionable more than judgmental, because as much as he worries about the other boys, he knew what sort of people they were when he decided he wanted to be on their side. But he catches himself a moment too late and flushes with a laugh, running a hand through his black hair at the way he trips on his words.]
You know. Make sure you're okay. I might check you out too, though.
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He grinned, which didn't do much for his split lip, if he was being honest.]
Yeah, you can do both. I don't mind.
[It was light flirting, but flirting all the same. Skov couldn't help himself; Jiang was gorgeous and he genuinely cared and- Skov thought it was sweet that he cared. And hot.]
I think I'm okay, but...
[He shrugged. Skov was a notoriously bad judge on if he was what other people considered 'okay' after a fight. And- oh right, Jiang'd asked him to fill him in on what'd happened.]
It was just some Aglionby asshole.
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[He hopped off the hood, popping the trunk so he could grab the first aid kit. He understood why he got into fights. Because Kavinsky and his cluster of boys might be popular, but they weren't necessarily well-liked. Sometimes it was jealousy, sometimes that they were a bunch of boys with foreign last names- except for Swan- and sometimes it was just that highschoolers were assholes and alcohol didn't make that inclination any better.
He does pause first, so he can look Skov over in a way that's much more about checking him out. He reaches out, letting his fingers touch against one of his shoulders -- careful, like he isn't sure if there are bruises under his shirt. His other hand cups the side of his face, his thumb a slight caress against his split lip and he hums thoughtfully.]
Luckily, I think you'll keep your good looks.
[He wants to kiss him, but he doesn't want to make his split-lip any worse. But he likes him like this, too: bruised, but not broken, indignant over the slights that people hurled at those he cared for, willing to hurt for it and smile afterwards. He's captivated for a moment, just looking at the other boy- he'd been his first kiss, and Jiang wanted to keep kissing him.]
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[But they never did. And anyway, if they learned, his life would get a whole lot more boring. What would he do with himself if he wasn't getting into stupid fights?
He followed Jiang like a puppy, going still when he reached out and touched him. His heart fluttered and it took all of his self-control not to tip his face into Jiang's hand and nuzzle him. Only his closest friends got Skov-as-a-puppy. Everyone else got Skov-as-a-guard-dog. He wanted to give Jiang something else, a different facet of himself, but he wasn't sure how that would go. So instead, he just watched Jiang sweetly.]
Thanks, doc. You know, sometimes I don't know what I'd do without you.
[It might not have been traditional flirting but he didn't know how else to say how much Jiang meant to him without spilling all the beans.]
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Groaning, Skov flopped over onto his side, scooting his math textbook away a little so he wouldn't hit his head on it.]
Do we have to keep doing this right now? I wanna break something 'cause this is so frustrating.
[He didn't blame Jiang, just the stupid math problems. Nuzzling his face into the side of Jiang's leg, he closed his eyes. He knew he was a poor student; no one needed to tell him, but he wished these things were easier.
Opening his eyes, he blinked slowly up at the other boy, who was sitting next to him.]
Snack time or something?
[Or something.]
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But Jiang wasn't a saint, and that didn't mean that sometimes he didn't want to hit him in the face with his Algebra book.
Tonight wasn't one of those nights, at least. Sometimes, he thought that Skov was intentionally dense about Math. Tonight- well, tonight he was more curious about what sort of things his teachers had been telling him to make it so clearly uncomfortable; he seemed as distressed as he did frustrated. And so while on another night Jiang might have pushed him to do one more problem, tonight he doesn't. He doesn't want to push for more than he can tolerate, and he thinks- maybe he just needs someone to try and speak his language.
So Jiang just murmurs softly, reaching out to brush his fingers through the other boy's brown hair, shivering as he nuzzles against his leg. There's a sort of suggestion on the air, and Jiang can't help the way that he looks at him, clearly affected. He's attracted to all of the dream pack boys, because all of them are incredibly attractive, but Skov in particular got under his skin in a way that felt different.]
Sure; gotta give you some time to recover.
[He didn't really mean for it to sound provocative, but it still clearly was. Jiang had a lot of dirty thoughts about the other boy, even if he tried to pretend otherwise. Skov had always seemed to see through him, though- that he was a mess too, even if he tried to pretend he had his life together, he had nothing of the sort.]
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But Jiang touched his hair and Skov all but melted into it, making a quiet little noise. He was two seconds away from saying thanks before he opened his eyes and peered up at the other boy.]
I could give you something to recover from.
[It was a murmur and he wasn't even joking, though his tone was light. He was prepared to back pedal if Jiang got awkward. He could claim he was just joking, but he really wasn't. Jiang had been so patient with him and Skov knew that couldn't be easy.
It was more than that, though. Skov had eyes and though they were burning a little from staring at math problems until his vision swam, he could still see how drop dead gorgeous Jiang was. He was a good friend and Skov was- he was attracted to him, like there was a giant magnet that kept pulling him in Jiang's direction. But he also didn't want to ruin their friendship if things went south right now. He was willing to take a risk, though. How big of a risk depended on the other boy.]
Sexy car times 👀
Labeling things was frightening sometimes. Not because it made things more concrete but because it meant he'd have to stop and examine how he really felt, what he wanted. Want was a difficult thing for him. It hummed through his veins always but it was hard to pinpoint, to wrestle up to the surface and bring to light. It had gotten a little easier since he'd become proper friends with Kavinsky and his pack, finding surprisingly gentle encouragement and comfort with them, but it was still a rough thing for him.
Usually, he let himself live in the moment and tried not to think too hard about what certain things meant. And yet other things were all he could think about, like sitting in the backseat of his BMW with Jiang, one hand on the other boy's hip, the other cupping the side of his face. It was late and they'd been racing, but when Ronan had pulled over, the adrenaline had spilled over into other feelings. He could see Jiang's Supra in the rearview mirror if he looked, but he wasn't looking right now. His gaze was flickering down to Jiang's mouth while Ronan leaned in to kiss him.
Jiang had been Ronan's first kiss, though he hadn't told him that. It wasn't the kind of thing Ronan was good at talking about, especially since it made him feel a little vulnerable to admit. So he hadn't mentioned it, but he was a fast learner and he felt like he'd gotten the hang of kissing by now. He'd had plenty of opportunities to practice, after all. Translation; they could barely keep their hands off each other half the time, though they hadn't actually had sex yet. Ronan had never done that, either.
He wanted to though, especially if it was with Jiang. It wasn't what he was angling for right now; whatever happened, happened, and all he could really think about was how drop dead gorgeous Jiang was and how sweet his mouth felt.]
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But it was the sort of thing that he didn't think too hard about, and that he surely hadn't said to anyone- especially Ronan himself. Instead he just enjoyed this thing they had, nebulous and nameless, but he still... he trusted Ronan with his heart, even if it didn't have a label like boyfriends. He trusted that he wanted him, how he made him feel in moments like this -- still breathless from racing, and now even more breathless as Ronan kissed him in the backseat of the BMW.
Ronan had been his first kiss, but he hadn't told him that. He hadn't wanted to seem inexperienced, clueless, like Ronan had to hold his hand. And he hadn't seemed to think that Jiang was bad at it, anyway. And even if he had been, he'd had enough practice that they both seemed to have figured out what was good, how best to make it so the other was only thinking about this moment. Jiang could hardly keep his hands off of him half the time. As much as he'd always rolled his eyes at Swan and Skov, Kavinsky and Proko-- he finally understood it. How helpless it felt when you were near someone you wanted.
Not that he'd gone as far with Ronan as the other boys talked about. But Jiang.. he sort of liked that they were taking it slow. He liked feeling like Ronan wanted more from him than just the sex. But they'd gotten to where he wanted it, where in moments like this he couldn't help thinking about it. He wasn't prepared, didn't have the foresight to have lube in his pocket or anything like that.
But he does cross a line he's never dared to before while they kiss. One of Jiang's hands holding onto Ronan's shoulder to keep himself steady and the other starts off touching against his chest, sliding under his shirt so that he can properly appreciate his muscled chest. But eventually his fingers timidly press to the waist of his jeans, slender fingers sliding down to grope him softly, tracing the outline of his cock through the stiff fabric, rubbing against him for a little friction.
He breaks the kiss, but just so that he can pull away for a moment so he can murmur against the other boy's ear.]
Is this-- I've never touched someone before. But I want to. I wanna touch you.
[He hardly knows what he wants to do, just the idea of undoing Ronan's jeans so that he can have his erection in his fingers sounds intoxicating, like he might melt under the heat of how hot it is. But he wants more than that, too. He wants to jerk him off in his fingers and wrap his lips around him so that he can taste his skin, he wants everything. He wants every inch of this boy, wants to make him feel so good he can give him something to fight his demons with.
He wants Ronan to believe that he's allowed to want good things, too.]
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As a bonus, Jiang didn't seem to mind that Ronan was taking things as slow as he knew how to. Racing and kissing and careful roughhousing, careful not to actually hurt Jiang. For a boy like Ronan, who was all barbs and venom and uncomfortable silences, it really said something that he cared if he hurt Jiang or not. In reality, he cared more about things and people than he usually let on; it was just easier to act like his heart was as black and shriveled as it felt like it was half the time. Jiang made his heart race.
A shiver crawled down Ronan's spine when Jiang touched him, skin flushing and prickling with goosebumps at the same time. And then his hand slid lower to- Ronan gasped, a little whine rising in his throat for a moment. It didn't take much to start getting him hard, especially not when it was Jiang.
His lashes fluttered against his cheeks when the other boy murmured in his ear. It was hard to imagine that someone as attractive as Jiang had never touched anyone like this before, especially with the company he kept, but- it wasn't the first time Ronan had been wrong about one of Kavinsky's friends. Maybe he should just stop making assumptions about them.
Nodding, he brushed his thumb against Jiang's cheek before dropping his hand to his shoulder.]
It's okay. I want you to touch me, too.
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And it was so worth it, because the sight of Ronan's smile and the sound of his laugh, the way that he looked when he was happy, actually happy -- it did things to Jiang's heart. It did things to his life, too. Even more so than Kavinsky's talks about doing what he wanted, Ronan made him want to be happy, it made him believe that he could be. That maybe there could be a future where he had a gorgeous, dangerous boyfriend, where he was going to art school, and where his family believed in him.
This thing they were doing together didn't have a label or a name, but Jiang wanted it to -- not now, but someday.
But right now, in the back of Ronan's BMW, he just wanted to make him feel good. He wanted to see what it felt like to have someone else, someone that he cared about under his fingers. He shivered a little when Ronan said that he wanted him to touch him too, glad for the confirmation as much as for the fact that it meant he could stop talking and go back to kissing him.
When Jiang kissed him this time it was a little bit filthier, sex on his tongue as he pressed their mouths together, desire like a heartbeat. Meanwhile his fingers slowly undid the button of Ronan's jeans, slowly dragging the zipper down, shifting his underwear out of the way until he could curl his slender fingers around his cock. And fuck, but it made Jiang moan into Ronan's mouth.
It takes him a moment before he can do anything, has to take a moment just to get used to how he feels in his hand. It's different from touching himself, heavier in his hand, and it feels hotter against the skin of his palm, but maybe that's just because it's Ronan. His heart is racing in his chest and he wants this, wants it so much he can't think of anything else except for this boy, and how much he aches for him, how much he loves him.
But then finally, he slowly strokes his fingers up along the length of him, letting him thumb slide in a slow circle over the head. There's inexperience in how Jiang touches him, like he's exploring, learning how the angle feels, what it's like to have someone else's cock in his hand, and he kisses him ardently, almost desperate. When he parts it's just to catch his breath, his face resting against Ronan's neck as he sucks in gasps of breath. He wants to tell him how amazing he is, that he's fucking perfect, but he thinks it might be a little awkward, being so charmed by the other boy's dick in his hand.
But he feels it anyway. He wants this, he wants more, he wants all of it -- all of Ronan Lynch. He wants him to fuck him, and Jiang isn't the sort to be precious about where his first time is or something like that. If it's with this boy who's gotten hooks into his heart it doesn't matter if it's Jiang's dorm room or bent over the hood of a car, or anywhere else. No, his hesitance about going all the way here is more a worry about lack of preparation. And it seems almost fitting somehow; the slow way things between them have progressed- a step or two at a time, slow enough to enjoy each shift- as slow as they could stand.
It feels like something they could maintain forever, probably, forever finding new ways to care about each other.
But right now, he wants to focus on this: his hand stroking over his erection, shifting from careful exploration to a slow rhythm. He wants to get his mouth on him too, though. And not just to feel it, not just because the idea of it makes his toes curl, but because he thinks it'd make this easier, hotter; saliva making the slide of his fingers that much better. So it's easy to mix the two ideas together, just because he wants to make it as good for Ronan as he possibly can.]
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So, when Jiang got his pants open and touched his dick, Ronan moaned, face flushing. It was better than touching himself, better than he could have imagined. It was sweeter and hotter, and he also appreciated Jiang's exploring touch, the way he seemed- fuck, Ronan wouldn't know the other boy was inexperienced if he hadn't said it a moment ago. He couldn't help but wonder, for a moment, what else Jiang had never done. It was almost a reassurance that Ronan wasn't the only one who didn't really have any idea what he was doing. Maybe they could learn together.
It was so hard to hold still, to not push up into Jiang's touch- despite his best efforts not to, Ronan still squirmed a little, hips canting upward. His heart raced and his skin prickled with arousal. At least, with Jiang's mouth on his, he didn't have to worry about stringing words together right now. He was already helplessly turned on and words could be hard for him at the best of times. But-
Shyly, he petted his fingers against Jiang's hip before slowly sliding his hand around to the front of his pants, pressing his palm against him. He wanted Jiang to feel as good as Ronan did. He wanted him to have all of the best things in life, if he was being honest--Jiang deserved them.]